I always wanna blog sth about my thoughts and feeling when i just start working, but i kept draggin due to the fact I have loads of bits and boobs to settle and arrange, moving houses, looking for jobs, working part time et cetera.

I can still rmb vividly somewhere aroung end of July and beginning of Aug was the most depressing moment to me. Glad i am using the word WAS, it does indicate I am movin on quite well now, tho not excellence but at least i think things are getting better. I was quite worried i was trapped in the abysmal depression, coz i can't imagine myself being so emo, even walking on the street i can't hold my tears dripping. Now that i look at it, is my EQ that low? I can't handle simple pressure and small Tiny little minute obstables in life? I think tat's call lack of confidence, I am scared I am overwhelmed with worries... I am scared things is not going to work out as I wish, I am scared things are out of my control, ultimately I am scared I am not as good as I thought.
It was a moment where I was basically covered with bewilderment.
however, i think the ordeal is not coming to an end yet, i suppose there is still lots yet to come.

But now that i m sitting in front of my pc, being able to online, blog, I think I m no longer depress, well i should put it in this way, if i were to start working in KL it will not make me feel less depress but prolly weather plays a very vital roles, working in KL is prolly not going to cause any depression but more frustration, here in UK is not that much of frustration but depression. Especially these days where the weather is crap, moody bluey sky, rainning from day till night, really encourage me not to wake up and keep STUCKIN myself in my lovely duvet..aww.. i want that...

missing uni life is definitely... missing those days where i stayed with janice n even year b4 (degree) happiest moment in UK... laughter and joy is the only thing i can rmb. Now that I am alone all by myself in Bristol, leave me a question for myself, should I actually change my way of living? not to live in my own confort zone, but try to mix around as much as possible, well not that I have not think of that but i m really lazy and unwilling to do that. I still feel very confortable with myself and close friends..

family and friends.. eventho I always say I am closely connect to my family n friends, somehow i think we have been dragged apart, I no longer involved in their part and parcel daily life, i won't noe what's my bro doing, has he been better? when I heard my mom complaining bout his bad attitude I am sad I was not there to advise him, All because i know how's the feeling of being alone with stress, I am sad I am not with my mom to share hers. similar stuff to my close friends, because i m too far from them, it makes it difficult for them to update me, but i think myself sok jm n ss have endeavoured to update each others.. which is good.. aww.. just miss them!

Having said so, I still think i m so so so blessed. I already been travelling around in so many countries, I m working in UK (tho not a brilliant job ;p) I have got so many around me supporting me. And the fact that eventho I can't survive here I still have got a home to go back make me feel so warm and blessed a place which always welcomin me no matter wat happened.
awww~
Also not too bad here, I have got del n Alan here with me tho in cardiff but it's good enuf, and also I have got my own resolution for this coming year =) thinking of the resolution it's like a small lil motivation to keep me goin...

Alrite another motivation is now prompting me.. GO to my lovely bed ;p
nitez khim =) yay!!!